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[抒情诗] (样板帖)希望

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发表于 2016-2-14 21:41:44 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
◎希望

不知产房内花胎情况,急得晚风整夜踱来踱去,向月光祈祷。周遭的蚯蚁蛇鸟人仰马翻,连打更的萤火虫、邻村爱造谣的大嘴蛙都来关切那无限深蓝与墨绿……。

转身起早的晨曦这时意外发现,叶尖上己经多了许多含着手指咯咯笑的──露珠胖娃娃。




白世纪 2012/4/20 于桃园


我女儿是清晨出生。她妈妈在前前一晚开始阵痛,我们挨到早晨才去人民医院。但入院后可能是因头胎,居然阵痛到深夜还没生。
此时我们已两夜没睡了,孕妇情况也开始令人担心,她痛到都把下唇咬破出血了,医院怕她体力透支到时无法顺利自然生产,不得不帮她打了一针助眠,估计是镇定剂之类,其实阵痛照旧不误。
就在我考虑要不要同意让她剖腹生产时,她的子宫终于有了三公分多开口而送进产房,我又急又累,此时凌晨两点多。
昏睡中,我突然被人摇醒,要我在一个文件上签名,我眼前湿润模糊只看到一个红红的小小小脚印,后来我才知道那就是我宝贝女儿的,呵呵,时光一晃,她现在11岁,我独力抚养她都八年了。

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 楼主| 发表于 2016-2-14 21:48:23 | 显示全部楼层
诗友交流整理:http://bbs.shigebao.com/thread-502024-1-1.html

寒山依依:
「转身起早的晨曦这时意外发现,叶尖上己经多了许多含着手指咯咯笑的──露珠胖娃娃。」让人的心,顿时柔软。

狗腿子是个人名:
痛并快乐着。

猪小美:
写的可爱

寒冰0421:
那刻的焦急、紧张、忙乱与痛感也被您写的如此柔情,喜乐、唯美!

墨指含香:
一种期待和美好祝福。

罗小罗:
胖娃娃。   这个词用的真好!

窃火者:
生产,哈,哈,哈,“花胎”用的真糟糕,
{我的回复:明白,有些八股了,呵呵,谢谢窃火,喜欢这样直言的诗友,遙握兄弟}

星星小倩:
诗行很简洁,担忧、期待与希望,一切都很美。
尤其是结尾的句子,“咯咯笑的露珠胖娃娃”,从中能够读到生命的希望,
体味到作者发自内心的喜悦,令读者的心也跟着微笑起来:)
大家叫你二叔、白叔、白菜叔、小白菜、大白菜、老白、白先生、白世纪,
而你的跟帖中亦是能够读到一种豁达。但这首散文诗却写得格外温柔和慈爱呢~

水滴水:
真的很有大陆的语感,融合得很成功
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发表于 2016-4-1 20:47:06 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2016-7-28 19:04:39 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2017-10-22 09:14:59 | 显示全部楼层

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