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[教学讲义] 談小詩的寫法——三行詩(三)/林廣

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发表于 2016-8-3 23:08:32 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本帖最后由 吳啟銘 于 2016-8-4 09:43 编辑

談小詩的寫法——三行詩(三)/林廣

  「讀詩是等待被詩觸發,寫詩是想要觸發別人。」我喜歡用這句話來勉勵自己。但想要觸發別人,並不是那麼容易的事;如果能透過三、五行的小詩,來練習捕捉意象,往往會產生意想不到的效果。
  路寒袖到歐洲去旅行時,拍攝了許多風景照片,並寫了一系列的小詩。其中三行詩有幾首寫得很好:
  這世界太擁擠了
  我們必須翻轉自己
  以便爭取多一點的呼吸
 
  因為詩都是配合照片寫的,所以沒有標題。這首詩的相對風景是鹿特丹方塊屋聚落住宅。那裏的住宅真的就像一個個方塊交疊在一起,難怪詩人要用「擁擠/翻轉」來加以描繪,最妙的是結語:「以便爭取多一點的呼吸」,這讓我們聯想到現在世界真的是太擁擠了,也許有一天我們連翻轉自己,爭取呼吸的機會都沒有。這樣的心情被觸動,就很難再用單純的寫景詩去讀。再看另一首:
  我與電腦都累了
  我們需要多一點的空間
  來堆放混亂的思緒
 
  讀這首詩完全可以把風景撇開。感覺好像是在針對我們這群長年累月在臉書流連的人說話。電腦天天被我們敲敲打打,開機關機,它也會累吧?最近我發現電腦的速度明顯變慢,偶爾還會無預警當機,大概是在向我抗議吧?這三句就這麼簡單也這麼貼切寫出了某種生活的面相。
  冰心的《春水》是很有名的小詩詩集,春水(65)頗具代表性:
  只是一顆星罷了,
  在無邊的黑暗裡,
  已寫盡了宇宙的寂寞。
 
  這是以小見大的筆法。這「一顆星」是一個象徵。我們可以視為是作者本身,也可以放大解釋,凡是跟冰心一般擁有那種「宇宙寂寞」情懷的人,都是這樣的一顆星吧?還有另一首33:「牆角的花/你孤芳自賞時/天地便小了」,這朵「牆角的花」跟「一顆星」有何差別呢?花,明明侷限一隅,卻只知「孤芳自賞」,難怪世界會變小;星,處在無邊黑暗中,卻仍散發著光,照亮宇宙的寂寞。你想當牆角的花或暗夜的星,都在一念之間。
  鍾順文以別出心裁的手法來寫〈山〉:
  憨直的傻小子
  幾度落髮
  幾度還俗
 
  文字很簡單,但短短十四個字包含的意思卻不簡單。首先從字面來看,是用擬人化的筆法,把「山」比擬為「憨直的傻小子」,因為憨傻,所以都不懂掩飾,直接呈現自己的本來面目。藉落髮、還俗,來寫山禿(樹葉掉光了)與山綠(樹葉又長出來了),別具情趣。其次,這也可用來影射憨傻的人在複雜的社會裡,必然是浮浮沉沉,很難維持一定的態勢。
  我曾以三行詩寫過一組〈小檔案〉(12首),選錄其中三首:
  難解的三角習題
  把夜晚壓成扁扁的鉛字
  壓成一口不知如何叫痛的枯井(數學)
 
  不知如何去抗拒別人
  只好默默承受
  各種重量和體臭(椅子)
 
  進進出出
  也無非想試探
  人間冷暖(門)
 
  〈數學〉主要在寫現代學子面對龐大的升學壓力,心靈被壓抑的痛楚。再擴大解讀,在現實社會中,人與人之間難免會出現「難解的三角習題」,這種痛不但導致失眠,甚至會形成心靈的枯竭,所以我才會用「不知如何叫痛的枯井」來描述。〈椅子〉是為一些弱勢族群,發出不平的聲音。那些人因為「不知如何去抗拒」,所以只能默默承受各種有形無形的壓迫。〈門〉是藉著「進進出出」的動作,來寫人想要「試探/人間冷暖」的心情。
  瘂弦老師曾寫過:「每扇門對我關著,當夜晚來時/人們就開始偏愛他自己修築的籬笆/只有月光,月光沒有籬笆」(乞丐)門和籬笆,都是象徵人與人之間的隔閡。對一個無家可歸的「乞丐」而言,夜晚的世界是對他關閉的,而唯一沒有籬笆的竟然只是「月光」。短短三句道盡了社會的冷暖,也寫出他對「乞丐」的同情。
  近年來,在大陸流行的微型詩,就限定在三行。來看白世紀〈拈心〉:
  菩薩正開化大殿裏輪來迴去的木魚
  有香火小聲插嘴
  一直看不透人世故……

  先看題目,一般都說「拈香」,作者卻強調要「拈心」,如果無心,點再多香都是沒有用的。題目已隱約暗示主題。首句「輪來迴去的木魚」是雙關,一指木魚聲不斷在大殿回響,一指木魚仍淪落於輪迴的苦境未曾解脫。「菩薩正開化」是想像的畫面,事實上菩薩只是端坐蓮臺,但作者卻以超現實筆法,讓菩薩說法來渡化「木魚」,畫面就變得很生動,也帶出懸疑——為何菩薩要開化「木魚」?次句不寫「香火裊裊上升」,卻寫「香火小聲插嘴」(明明是視覺飄的動作,卻用聽覺的插嘴,這是移覺),讓叩叩叩的木魚聲又添加了伙伴,場面也變得更熱鬧。讀到這裡,我們才恍悟,這「木魚」和「香火」不就是芸芸眾生的化身?眾生像木魚叩叩地向菩薩祈求,又像香火裊裊飄向菩薩,而所求者不外名利富貴,長壽無病苦等等,因此末句才會說:「一直看不透人世故」。我們不妨把這一句當作是「插嘴」時所講的話,他迷惑地問菩薩:「為何我總是不清人生的真相?」這句話很有意思,試想香火本身的形象就是朦朦朧朧的,它看得清楚才怪!整首詩在詼諧中帶有哲理,短短三行,把眾生看不透真相,不斷祈求的現象,藉由「木魚」和「香火」兩個意象微妙地傳達出來,頗具創意。
  「暮色垂直下降/各樓窗展列的青春/只能驚鴻一瞥」,或許當你走過城市街道展列的櫥窗,你也會湧起這樣「驚鴻一瞥」的觸動吧?把它用精簡的意象寫下來,就可以寫出很有味道的三行詩。(未完待續)
  

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发表于 2016-8-4 22:49:57 | 显示全部楼层
謝謝老師精彩的解說 !
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 楼主| 发表于 2016-8-5 13:40:41 | 显示全部楼层
至卿 发表于 2016-8-4 22:49
謝謝老師精彩的解說 !

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 楼主| 发表于 2016-8-5 17:32:31 | 显示全部楼层
至卿 发表于 2016-8-4 22:49
謝謝老師精彩的解說 !

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发表于 2016-8-17 19:31:31 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
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   http://www.plcjs.win/forum.php?mod=post&action=reply&fid=65&tid=336&extra=&replysubmit=yes&infloat=yes&handlekey=fastpost
  
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   http://www.tw109.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=409756&pid=521946&page=1&extra=page=1#pid521946
  
   http://cruxcleaning.com.au/bbs/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1670388&pid=1736396&page=1&extra=page=1#pid1736396
  
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   http://cruxcleaning.com.au/bbs/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1670284&pid=1736394&page=1&extra=page=1#pid1736394
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